Today is Valentine's Day. Words cannot describe how much we love the people of this country. We have spent the last week telling the story of the Father’s love to as many as would listen. This week we spent the night in a nearby village. We had hoped to build bridges, but we discovered how quickly relationships can be damaged.
The work in this particular village is several years old; however, just a few months ago the first person accepted the Truth. Now, there are a dozen or so young believers studying the Word. Our job was simple. We were to split up with a few other people that were here on a short-term trip and share the stories while eating a meal cooked in their house. Then, after dinner we would go into a local’s house and practice our language, while being a witness.
Dinner was interesting. The picky eater of the family got fried chicken and rice, while the not-so-picky eater go a pot full of weird meats. One guy kept asking what the meats were, but we suggested it was better not knowing. We shared our testimonies and told a few stories, then we left to discover one of the households had accepted!
We retreated to the house where we were staying. After talking to the family about all sorts of things, including hearing the story how they met, how to say knife, spoon, and fork in their language, and where to find the bathroom (unfortunately they didn’t tell us how to use the bathroom, which would have been helpful). The father had an admiration for Hank Williams, due to his alcohol use. So, I told him the story of the Prodigal Son and how he couldn’t find happiness away from the Father.
Our hostess showed us our bed. It was a colorful mat on the floor, covered in a mesh mosquito net. She pulled out some brand new pillows and placed them inside of the net. Next to our bed was another one. We weren’t sure if she expected us to sleep apart or if someone else slept there. She pointed to her husband. We were pretty sure that this 66 year old man, who was very drunk, would be snoring next to us. L called the side closest to the wall.
Everything was going good until the roosters woke us up at 4am. The man never made it to bed. I guess he slept on the couch downstairs. We laid in bed until we heard our hostess arise. We quickly got dressed and went downstairs to find her preparing breakfast. Instant coffee (which is something they all drink here), sticky rice, sandwiches, and chicken was the planned breakfast meal. She offered us a sandwich, but we weren’t clear on what she was asking, so we declined. I drank the coffee and ate a handful of sticky rice. She then began to grill chicken. By then, it was nearing 8am. I had to be at work in the city an hour away that morning. We called our friends who can speak the lingo and handed the phone to our hostess. She gave the phone back to us and he said we can say, “thank you” and leave. The chicken wouldn’t be done for another 45 minutes.
Because of our lack of knowledge of the culture and language, we made a serious blunder. To an American, a breakfast is a granola bar or donut in the car, to our hostess, it was a very important part of her doing her job. Since we left before she could fulfill her duty, in her mind, she failed us and “lost face” (which is a horrible thing in her culture).
It was something we didn’t even think about. How many mornings have we walked out of someone’s house with nothing more than a cup of coffee! We felt bad that she wasted her money on chicken we couldn’t eat. But to her, it was all about making us happy, which meant feeding us breakfast.
In order to repair this broken bridge, we need to go back to her house and let her “redeem” herself so she can regain face with us. This Tuesday we plan on returning to stay again and eating dinner and breakfast with her. We hope for more opportunities to share and a chance to allow her to regain face, even though we didn’t think anything of it. This will allow her to feel like she gained back what she felt like she lost.
4 comments:
Hey L....how's the food been?....PS...I've slept with a mosquito net before too!
I never would have thought of that as a cultural wrong-doing either. I hope your second visit goes well!
We'll be lifting up your relationship with them... who would've thought that leaving early would make her "lose face." You guys seem to be doing amazingly well adapting to and learning their culture, and I'm sure in no time at all you'll be experts! :) We love hearing about the village trips and how our Father is working in these people!
L -
we got your email this morning so I hopped over to your blog to check out what your guys have been up to the last month! Wow! Looks like you're doing great!!! I must admit, I'm a little envious of the weather. It is FREEZING here (it snowed 5 days last week) and we often don't have electricity or gas. Wish I didn't love hot showers! We're in the same boat as far as the dishwasher and washing machine goes and a dryer is a true luxury as they aren't even sold inour country! We can't wait to purchase one when we move to Moscow!! So encourgaing to see how much time you guys are already getting to spend with locals. We've spent the last two nights in locals homes and that has been awesome. I just joined a gym here and have a class 3 x a week and J runs from time to time when he can. Love you guys and miss you!
M, J & L (from VA)
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